Getting Married Later in Life: Why It's Crucial to Get Your Affairs in Order - Women’s Hour Episode

BBC Radio 4’s Women’s Hour covered the topic of marrying later in life last week (17th October). Getting married in your 40s, 50s or later comes with a unique set of joys and challenges. As the interview says, for many, it's a period when the couple have already established careers, built up savings, or even had previous marriages and children. While love and companionship may be the driving forces behind this decision, we at NOTA:BENE System, as ever, thought about the practical and administrative side of merging lives.

One of the takeaways from this interview with three female journalists and writers Claire Barrett, Lucy Cavendish, and Flick Everett was the importance of having your administrative affairs in order when preparing to enter a new phase of life. This becomes even more crucial when you're marrying in your 40s or 50s, when financial and personal lives can be more complex.

Why Organising Your Affairs Matters

When you reach a stage in life where you've accumulated assets, whether that's a home, a pension, or a business, merging your life with someone else's requires more than just love. It calls for informed discussions about how to share those assets responsibly. This means taking the time to get your administrative and financial affairs in order, so you both know where you stand before taking the next step.

We’ve distilled down their excellent advice so you don’t have to:

1. Understanding What You Own and What You Owe

Before you can discuss sharing finances, it's crucial to have a clear understanding of what you own and owe. This includes:

- Listing your assets: Property, savings, investments, and any other valuables you might have.

- Reviewing your debts: Mortgages, loans, and credit card balances should be clearly laid out.

Knowing the full picture allows you to have an informed discussion with your partner about how to manage these aspects of your lives together.

2. Updating Key Documents

Significant life changes like marriage are the perfect opportunity to review and update important documents. There was much discussion about introducing a Pre-nuptial agreement at this stage to protect assets amassed from a previous marriage that might naturally want to be passed to the children of that marriage. Broaching such a conversation was considered awkward but necessary. And as to the legal status of a pre-nup Flick said “Judges will take them seriously if both parties have sought independent legal advice [and] if it hasn't been done in a hurry just before you got married.”

Beyond the tricky pre-nup also consider revising:

- Wills: Marriage often revokes previous wills, so it's essential to create a new one that reflects your current wishes.

- Beneficiary designations: Ensure that the right people are listed as beneficiaries on insurance policies, retirement accounts, and investments.

- Legal arrangements: For those entering a marriage later in life, prenuptial agreements might be a consideration to protect existing assets and ensure that each party's interests are clearly defined.

3. Planning for the Unexpected

While it's not the most romantic topic, planning for life's uncertainties is a gift you give to your future self and your loved ones. Unexpected events can disrupt even the best-laid plans, and having your affairs in order means you can navigate these challenges with greater ease. This includes:

- Creating a Financial Lasting Power of Attorney: This document allows someone you trust (perhaps your new partner) to manage your financial affairs if you become unable to do so.

- Healthcare directives like a Living Will and Healthcare Power of Attorney: Ensure you’ve outlined your medical preferences should you be unable to make those decisions yourself and nominate someone you trust to decide your healthcare needs.

4. Open Communication is Key

Having your affairs in order lays the foundation for open and honest communication with your partner about finances. This transparency helps avoid misunderstandings and potential conflicts down the line. The example of It's easier to have these conversations at the outset when you both know exactly where you stand.

The podcast interview highlighted how different experiences shape one's approach to finances in later-life marriages. For example, while some of the journalists felt comfortable with the idea of sharing everything, others took a more cautious approach, driven by their past experiences. As always, the key is being prepared and having those conversations in a structured, and well-informed manner.

Practical Tips for Getting Your Affairs in Order

- Start small: You don't have to overhaul everything in one sitting. Begin by organising one aspect of your financial life, such as your will, your pension or your list of shares.

- Seek legal or financial advice for complicated matters: While the focus here is on having your administrative affairs in order, professional guidance is essential for making sure everything is legally sound.

- Involve your partner in the process: Share the responsibility of organising and planning your affairs with your partner to build a sense of trust and mutual understanding.

This was a fascinating segment of the Women’s Hour episode that piqued our attention because if covers much of the same topics we value. Marriage at any age is a significant step, and taking the time to get your administrative and financial affairs in order helps ensure that you enter this new chapter of life with clarity and confidence. As we say at NOTA:BENE System: Your loved ones will know WHAT exists, WHERE to find it and HOW to access it.

It’s about giving yourself the peace of mind that you’re prepared for whatever life may bring. And, most importantly, it's about being able to openly discuss and navigate the realities of sharing a life chapter – and finances – with the one you love.